Noeventber is a No-Go Again

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that today’s blog title brought a host of questions to your mind: What the heck is Noeventber? Is that a typo? Does she not have spellcheck? And what does she mean by “again”? Were we told of this before?

Let me first address the easiest questions to answer. No, it’s not a typo. Yes, I dew halve spellcheck.  And no, I haven’t told you about this before. I intended to last November, but I got busy. Or lazy. Likely some combination of both. This is where the “again” comment comes into play, but I’ll circle back to that in a minute.

You may already have come across what I refer to as Noeventber in other online spaces but called “No”vember or NOvember.  The idea is to carve out a monthlong space of mental and emotional peace by opting out of events or happenings that require more energy than one might wish to expend, and perhaps more importantly, to do so guilt-free.

Need a break from your third Thursday book club? Hit NO on that RSVP. Not feeling your company’s annual Veteran’s Day cookout? Decline the invite without reservation. Don’t have the bandwidth to host relatives for Thanksgiving yet again?  Okay, that’s a tough one, but if you need a break from host duties, be honest with your usual cast of guests and discuss alternative host locations. Better that than burning through the last of your emotional energy reserves, right?  

I’m not sure how long this concept or movement has been a thing, but I’d never seen it before when the need to do exactly this popped into my head last year. I was in desperate need of a break from – well, from everything. I’d had an extremely busy spring, summer and early fall season, mostly self-inflicted with three sets of air travel trips, two road trips, concerts galore, online and in-person writing events, social gatherings, dance classes, summer gardening, fall harvesting and canning, and more. I needed a break, both mentally and physically. 

November was weeks away, and by comparison to the previous months, my calendar was looking rather empty. I thought, rather naively, that it would be a perfect month to abstain from doing all the things. A no-event month.  I referred to it as “No-event-ber” in my head. As I said, I’d never heard the term or concept before (I’d not been online actively since March of that year), so I thought it clever and planned to share it in a blog post. I did not (see paragraph two.)

Anyhow, you can probably guess where this is going by my use of the word “naively” above. Another airplane trip manifested itself on my calendar, followed by more dance lessons, more writing events, and – because it became apparent that Noeventber was moot at that point – a week-long evening sewing class. Again, I should point out that this was all self-inflicted. I was either not truly convinced of the potential benefits of a slow/no-event month, or I just wasn’t capable or able to shift into low gear. Likely some combination of both.

Fast forward to 2024. This past summer and early fall have pretty much been a repeat of last year. Busy AF. As early as August, I broached with my husband the possibility of trying Noeventber again. I was also back on Instagram and came across a handful of posts and stories mentioning NOvember.  Ah, so this was a thing! I was both disappointed that my idea wasn’t as novel as I thought but also encouraged that it was a well-supported concept. I also genuinely thought I was going to be able to make this year’s eleventh month a true Noeventber.

Alas, it was not to be, and once again, that’s all on me. This year, I had the opportunity to undergo an elective surgery I’ve been wanting to do for twenty years, and November was the best month for it. It was an exhausting experience on all levels but so far, it’s worth it. (Side note: I’m mulling the idea of blogging about it next month, so stay tuned if you are curious.) This was also the first time in over four years that we were able to go to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, and while I’m rather indifferent to the holiday itself, my husband loves it, and it was both nice and necessary to spend time with his family, including his ailing father.

Even this last day of the month, I said yes to a write-in event with my local writing group. In fact, I am sitting in a coffee shop with them right now, finishing up this blog post. This is a more low-key event than spending a week prepping for a holiday dinner and road trip or undergoing a three-hour surgery, so in all honesty, it barely counts. Plus, I’m getting to spend it doing what I find naturally relaxing, so it’s more of a positive “Yes” in this month of non-No’s. 

To recap, that’s two failed Noeventbers for me, so I’m considering what – if anything – I could do differently to make this idea work. November might be the wrong month, or perhaps a month is too long to devote to this. Maybe I should readjust my definition of what constitutes an “activity” or “event” for this purpose. Likely some combination of all those.  

Taking all that into consideration, the first couple weeks of March shows promise. Now to come up with a catchy title for it. Zil-march? March Calmness? The Idleness of March? Eh, I’ll work on it.